And for me, until the past 3 or 4 years, I've been just that. While growing up, sure i had a family. It was a good family too for the most part. Yes we had our issues, much like every family has. I come from a pretty complex family system. You see my mother was adopted, and I never knew my biological father. Yes, I have a dad, now, more folks that could be considered dad than really deserve it actually. But knowing this, has meant I never truly knew my biological genealogy. Where i came from, and for me with my interest in history, and the like, well it was not easy for me.
My mother and my Biological father were never married. They dated. My biological father was evidently married when my mother and he were dating, although he was separated from his wife. There is doubt on what happened as to why they split, one side says one thing, the other says the other... that's neither here nor there now. .Fact is i was conceived and born. My mother married shortly afterwards, and I was given a sister. This man is the man I have always called dad.. and will for the rest of my life. When i refer to my dad it is of him whom i speak. Some 6 years later or so they split up, and divorced. My mother remarried when i was 10, and gave it a go for 12 or 13 years. then divorced. This man was good to begin with, but he had issues later and well we never really got along 100% of the time. I shoulda guessed there was something wrong with him when he told us he lived in a tree house for 2 years, but i was young, and who am i to judge a single man's choices on living environments. There were no children borne from this marriage, as there weren't any from my mothers third, and so far fourth marriage luckily.
Well back in November of 2008, I received a call from my mother. She and I had been on rocky terms due to things with my half sister and my mothers mother, whom I've recently found out had been and is currently suffering from Vascular Dementia which is now advanced. Long story short, this phone call stated she had located my biological father and he wanted to speak with me. The decision to actually have him know i existed, or if he knew that i did already, the decision to actually contact him was taken from me without ever being offered in the first place. Over the next few months we spoke a couple times, and we have corresponded fairly frequently via the Internet in email and the like. He has filled in a lot about my blood heritage. Things including the fact that I have 3 half siblings by him, in addition to my half sister with my mom and the man i refer to as my "dad", and his 2 daughters with his second wife. So in all now, i find myself with 6 siblings, when for the most part i only grew up with 1, and knew of 3.
On my Biological fathers side, i found that he was originally a native South Carolinian. His family was all from the Upstate, Seneca, oconee county. He doesn't seem to like most of his family, and usually doesn't have nice things to say about where he came from. I don't understand that, and in that fact we are vastly different. Good or bad, where you come from is where you come from. It does not necessarily make you who you are. You make you who you are.
Anyways, i found out that in fact we have Oconee Cherokee in our blood, and I believe from what I've found I'm 1/16 or 1/32nd Cherokee on his side. I don't know for sure, as well, I'm not good at math, and damned if i understand how all this works. lol. I also found by using a web site called Ancestry.com, that my forefathers on his side came over to America in 1635 on the HMS Speedwell. They landed at Jamestown Colony, and settled not far up the river, before they started migrating thru VA to eventually land in SC. That ship carried not 1 of my forefathers, but 2. The ships captain was one of them. I have all the information saved in my ancestry.com profile, and also a local copy in a pc program called family tree maker. This also explains the reasons that once i moved here to SC, I've felt at home, and do not want to move away. Even though i was born in Virginia and spent my first 13 years there, I definitely consider myself a native south Carolinian, and I'm rather proud of it.
Along with the amazing find that my ancestors were among the first settlers of the new world, I also think i discovered some lines that go back as far as 1530's to Belfast Ireland, and get this, 1020's Whales. Granted i say i think, because 1, I'm using ancestry.com alone, and 2, how accurate were records back then? I'm not one to say, but I am quite happy to know all about this stuff, as it is not only very interesting but it is nice to know where i come from basically. (especially with the fondness i have toward all things Celtic, and also all things Native American)
Now, while things are still rocky on my mother's side, I've been in contact with my half sister on my fathers side. She has a son, and wants to meet up one day to talk. I think this may be nice to do. My biological father also wants to meet in person. I do not know if I can ever make it to Florida to meet him, but i haven't ruled it out. For now, I am glad to continue the emails and communicate that way with him... I do not know how my half brothers would feel about even talking with me. I have never done so, and initially i got the impression from my half sister that they did not want to know me or have anything to do with me. This may have changed by now, I do not know though.. it would be nice to think they would be slightly curious enough but I do not know. My half sister didn't seem to thrilled when she found out about me, but like i said since then we've spoken via the Internet a good bit...
My mothers side, however is still a mystery. I know she was born in Beckley / Charlestown West Virginia, but i know nothing of her biological parents. I have heard that she did look into finding her biological parents. I don't know how true this is, nor do i know if I'll ever know but i do think it would be nice to know. The man I call my grandfather, (her adoptive father) to me is the man I've always considered my father. Deep within me, I've never doubted this. I thank him for most if not all of my beliefs, morals, and interests. Not only could i always count on him, i never once had a doubt on that. His silent strength has been what I've aspired to be all my life... and now in the twilight of his years, he has been diagnosed with Bladder cancer, and opted to not have surgery. I cannot fault this decision, but for many years I've tried to make myself believe he'd live forever, and things would never change. The cruel twists of life are in fact that they do change, and no one lives forever. Because of the rift in my family, I have been unable to see him in the past 3-4 years. This hurts me more than I'll ever say. I do speak with him on the phone but much like many other things, it is not the same. I do not think i can ever forgive my sister or my grandmother for taking him away from me... nor for the other issues they have caused me in my life.... if things were only how they were back before then.... There is truly nothing more scary to a man in my opinion than being totally alone, while not physically, but feeling it inside, deep inside, in every fiber of their being, that no one is there for them any longer. That is a very sad and lonely place to be and I do not know how else to explain it nor the torture that a man experiences every minute of every day feeling that way.
Well I've gone on long enough for this post.. I've touched on many things i didn't even intend to. I hope someone enjoys the read, and if so inclined to do so comments on my ramblings. until our next post... I wish you all the best.
My mother and my Biological father were never married. They dated. My biological father was evidently married when my mother and he were dating, although he was separated from his wife. There is doubt on what happened as to why they split, one side says one thing, the other says the other... that's neither here nor there now. .Fact is i was conceived and born. My mother married shortly afterwards, and I was given a sister. This man is the man I have always called dad.. and will for the rest of my life. When i refer to my dad it is of him whom i speak. Some 6 years later or so they split up, and divorced. My mother remarried when i was 10, and gave it a go for 12 or 13 years. then divorced. This man was good to begin with, but he had issues later and well we never really got along 100% of the time. I shoulda guessed there was something wrong with him when he told us he lived in a tree house for 2 years, but i was young, and who am i to judge a single man's choices on living environments. There were no children borne from this marriage, as there weren't any from my mothers third, and so far fourth marriage luckily.
Well back in November of 2008, I received a call from my mother. She and I had been on rocky terms due to things with my half sister and my mothers mother, whom I've recently found out had been and is currently suffering from Vascular Dementia which is now advanced. Long story short, this phone call stated she had located my biological father and he wanted to speak with me. The decision to actually have him know i existed, or if he knew that i did already, the decision to actually contact him was taken from me without ever being offered in the first place. Over the next few months we spoke a couple times, and we have corresponded fairly frequently via the Internet in email and the like. He has filled in a lot about my blood heritage. Things including the fact that I have 3 half siblings by him, in addition to my half sister with my mom and the man i refer to as my "dad", and his 2 daughters with his second wife. So in all now, i find myself with 6 siblings, when for the most part i only grew up with 1, and knew of 3.
On my Biological fathers side, i found that he was originally a native South Carolinian. His family was all from the Upstate, Seneca, oconee county. He doesn't seem to like most of his family, and usually doesn't have nice things to say about where he came from. I don't understand that, and in that fact we are vastly different. Good or bad, where you come from is where you come from. It does not necessarily make you who you are. You make you who you are.
Anyways, i found out that in fact we have Oconee Cherokee in our blood, and I believe from what I've found I'm 1/16 or 1/32nd Cherokee on his side. I don't know for sure, as well, I'm not good at math, and damned if i understand how all this works. lol. I also found by using a web site called Ancestry.com, that my forefathers on his side came over to America in 1635 on the HMS Speedwell. They landed at Jamestown Colony, and settled not far up the river, before they started migrating thru VA to eventually land in SC. That ship carried not 1 of my forefathers, but 2. The ships captain was one of them. I have all the information saved in my ancestry.com profile, and also a local copy in a pc program called family tree maker. This also explains the reasons that once i moved here to SC, I've felt at home, and do not want to move away. Even though i was born in Virginia and spent my first 13 years there, I definitely consider myself a native south Carolinian, and I'm rather proud of it.
Along with the amazing find that my ancestors were among the first settlers of the new world, I also think i discovered some lines that go back as far as 1530's to Belfast Ireland, and get this, 1020's Whales. Granted i say i think, because 1, I'm using ancestry.com alone, and 2, how accurate were records back then? I'm not one to say, but I am quite happy to know all about this stuff, as it is not only very interesting but it is nice to know where i come from basically. (especially with the fondness i have toward all things Celtic, and also all things Native American)
Now, while things are still rocky on my mother's side, I've been in contact with my half sister on my fathers side. She has a son, and wants to meet up one day to talk. I think this may be nice to do. My biological father also wants to meet in person. I do not know if I can ever make it to Florida to meet him, but i haven't ruled it out. For now, I am glad to continue the emails and communicate that way with him... I do not know how my half brothers would feel about even talking with me. I have never done so, and initially i got the impression from my half sister that they did not want to know me or have anything to do with me. This may have changed by now, I do not know though.. it would be nice to think they would be slightly curious enough but I do not know. My half sister didn't seem to thrilled when she found out about me, but like i said since then we've spoken via the Internet a good bit...
My mothers side, however is still a mystery. I know she was born in Beckley / Charlestown West Virginia, but i know nothing of her biological parents. I have heard that she did look into finding her biological parents. I don't know how true this is, nor do i know if I'll ever know but i do think it would be nice to know. The man I call my grandfather, (her adoptive father) to me is the man I've always considered my father. Deep within me, I've never doubted this. I thank him for most if not all of my beliefs, morals, and interests. Not only could i always count on him, i never once had a doubt on that. His silent strength has been what I've aspired to be all my life... and now in the twilight of his years, he has been diagnosed with Bladder cancer, and opted to not have surgery. I cannot fault this decision, but for many years I've tried to make myself believe he'd live forever, and things would never change. The cruel twists of life are in fact that they do change, and no one lives forever. Because of the rift in my family, I have been unable to see him in the past 3-4 years. This hurts me more than I'll ever say. I do speak with him on the phone but much like many other things, it is not the same. I do not think i can ever forgive my sister or my grandmother for taking him away from me... nor for the other issues they have caused me in my life.... if things were only how they were back before then.... There is truly nothing more scary to a man in my opinion than being totally alone, while not physically, but feeling it inside, deep inside, in every fiber of their being, that no one is there for them any longer. That is a very sad and lonely place to be and I do not know how else to explain it nor the torture that a man experiences every minute of every day feeling that way.
Well I've gone on long enough for this post.. I've touched on many things i didn't even intend to. I hope someone enjoys the read, and if so inclined to do so comments on my ramblings. until our next post... I wish you all the best.
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