Well hello everyone. I haven't posted anything entirely deep lately, largely because I've been just that busy. I've had a ton of stuff on my mind, just no desire to put it to paper so to speak... Largely most of what I think I don't publicly post, simply because it is either too personal, or i don't want to offend or hurt someone.
Lately I've been thinking about life, relationships, and why people do what they do. a lot of this is based off of personal experiences, both first hand and observed. I will attempt to put my thoughts down here now and use some of the things I've observed as examples.
I have a very dear friend, perhaps the best friend i have, who has joined up in the armed forces. He had been preparing for this event for close to a year, and in my humble opinion was doing so for the right reasons. He is intelligent, educated, and tends to be ocd when it comes to researching things, so he did in fact do his homework on the subject. I am very proud of him for his efforts, and even now while he is training to become part of our military, i know hes doing what he's doing for the right reasons. These reasons are things like Family, his wife, his future family, his future career skills, etc. He's literally doing it to better himself, his life situation, and hopefully his future. That is admirable in my book, and regardless of what outcome he has, be it successful, or kicked back a couple of weeks, or just not making it, I'm proud of his decisions to make his own life better, and to further his future possibilities.
Relationships between men and women however are very different from this situation with my buddy and his quest to better his future for himself, his family , and h is wife. Yes, what he's doing effects that aspect a great deal, but its different in many ways. How can someone who seems to have it all, loving kids, loving wife, nice house, decent cars, neglect things that make him a better person, or appear to neglect it? how is it that by failing to do what is needed by the family despite being told by friends and others that some people just choose to not listen, not do what is needed and thus risk the very family he supposedly is grateful to have? Better yet, how can someone that a person has been in love with, and in a long relationship with, one day when asked if they still loved that person, just say I don't know if i love you anymore, and then expect everything to be OK, and it not to be that big of a deal? Words like that shatter people, to their very core. I think that these days we don't really think about what we say, or at least not in a manner that folks used to think. Back then though, people meant what they said and did what they said. What happens when one person tries and tries so long to fix things, but the other doesn't? why doesn't that other person try? and if that other person didn't care, why are they still there? its a form of cruelty if you ask me, to torment the other person, without giving them any form of effort to fix things.. an act of torture. isn't it funny how some folks then will try, only after the other gives up, to put forth effort to try to save the relationship? I've seen it time and time again, friends, family, you name it. Same things happen. One person is trying in the relationship, and the other doesn't seem to care enough to do jack shit, at least not relationship wise. Sure they'll do the normal expectations, but to really try to be in the relationship as a partner not as a body that is there. OH and don't get me even started on those people that just keep it all inside, and expect one party to do all the work, while never talking about or making effort to fix things. Those are the worst to me because theres no way to know if your in torment, or actually being loved and that the other party is trying or not. Bottom line, if you love someone, SHOW IT. MAKE THE GOD DAMNED EFFORT. IF it means being on medications to be normal FUCKING DO IT. If it means working 2 jobs to support your family, GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO IT. If it means talking to someone, and loving on someone simply by sitting on the couch against them loving on them by just simply holding hands, whatever. FUCKING DO IT. Cause if you don't, your gonna loose it all, if you already haven't. Its not fucking rocket science. And god help us the last part is if you don't wanna be in a relationship, and you know this, quit the bullshit, quit the excuses, financial or otherwise, and GET THE FUCK OUT. Your only making your life worse, their life worse, and in the long run a more difficult situation for all parties involved. If your worried theres not anyone else out there that will love you your wrong, but if your worried theres not anyone else out there who would put up with your bullshit you may be right lol. There's the edge, Jump.
Another relationship i see is family and age. Some things cant be changed, and aging is one of them. The sad part of it all is that you cant stop it. As we reach the winter of our lives its a sad fact that our bodies fall apart. Be it from poor care, or genetics, or just roll of the dice, they do. I see this alotalot of other mental ailments, that Ive talked about before. Its sad to me to see how my grandfather has to deal with all the bureaucratic b.s. that goes along with it, and my grandmother doesn't have a clue whats going on or why shes had to move from one to another to another home, because of how she fights and is in the homes. i promise you that if i ever get that bad, where i cant know who my family is or what I'm doing to hurt them, and don't know where i am or year, just please put me in a pasture and take me out of my misery. There is no quality of life if i cant enjoy those that i love, no matter how small a list that has grown to be, if i cant talk to you and enjoy you and vice versa, whats the point. I cant survive on my own at that point I'm more a burden than not, and no one needs that.
What is strange to me is how much we take for granted in life. me for example, i work a normal state job. I don't make what others in my field make, hell i took a 35% pay cut to come here when i left UPS. And yet, i still pay my bills, i still have nice things, and i still am fed, clothed, and have some spending money. I am somewhat healthy, I have 2 dogs i keep, a cat, a pool a jacuzzi on the back deck, i own my home, i own cars, i have alot of crap materially. I provide a decent quality of life for myself and my wife. I don't drink excessively habitually, in fact I've been considering giving it up entirely. I don't do drugs, i don't smoke, I don't gamble. I don't have any addictions that i really know of other than i love food maybe. I don't just sit on my ass when I'm home, i do all sorts of things, yard work, housework, home renovation and repair, including upgrades, I like to read books that i buy instead of borrow from the library, I'm good with computers and my hands. I can and do hold down jobs for long periods of time, and usually wont leave a place of employment unless I'm forced to by either lay off or possible lay off. I'm loyal to my friends and family. I have been told I'm too nice, and that I'm took advantage of by friends and family because I'm overly nice. Look at all i have to be thankful for there, yet most of the time i don't think about it. Hell i bet many folks don't look at me as hes a great guy they probably look at me and think what can i get him to do for me, or something along those lines.I submit this thought, what if, say life was like face book, and you could simply just drop someone from your friends list by a few clicks. What if i took the above description of myself, by me, and applied ti to my friends. And those that were not matching its categories or like type, what if i just got rid of them from my life? I apparently am an OK guy, and I'm sure there are alot of people who are in my life i could replace with little effort using these criterion. While i know not everyone is like minded, i bet you there are plenty of folks out there who would cherish me as me, and want to be part of my life, as i would theirs. Just a thought, kinda out of randomness, but hey since I'm blogging i may as well be random.
In closing, I don't know where i really was going with all of this, I just started typing really and this is what poured out. I hope that some of it made some of you think. I Hope that you all realize life is too short to be unhappy, and find happiness when you can. I hope that you will also make the effort. Its not always 50/50 in any relationship, some days its 99/1 or 60/40 or something, but you gotta try if you value it. The only time I can say don't, is when you had for so long, and now you have nothing more to give. If that's the case, pack your shit and go, cause you did what you could. no need to torment yourself or the others any longer.
Lately I've been thinking about life, relationships, and why people do what they do. a lot of this is based off of personal experiences, both first hand and observed. I will attempt to put my thoughts down here now and use some of the things I've observed as examples.
I have a very dear friend, perhaps the best friend i have, who has joined up in the armed forces. He had been preparing for this event for close to a year, and in my humble opinion was doing so for the right reasons. He is intelligent, educated, and tends to be ocd when it comes to researching things, so he did in fact do his homework on the subject. I am very proud of him for his efforts, and even now while he is training to become part of our military, i know hes doing what he's doing for the right reasons. These reasons are things like Family, his wife, his future family, his future career skills, etc. He's literally doing it to better himself, his life situation, and hopefully his future. That is admirable in my book, and regardless of what outcome he has, be it successful, or kicked back a couple of weeks, or just not making it, I'm proud of his decisions to make his own life better, and to further his future possibilities.
Relationships between men and women however are very different from this situation with my buddy and his quest to better his future for himself, his family , and h is wife. Yes, what he's doing effects that aspect a great deal, but its different in many ways. How can someone who seems to have it all, loving kids, loving wife, nice house, decent cars, neglect things that make him a better person, or appear to neglect it? how is it that by failing to do what is needed by the family despite being told by friends and others that some people just choose to not listen, not do what is needed and thus risk the very family he supposedly is grateful to have? Better yet, how can someone that a person has been in love with, and in a long relationship with, one day when asked if they still loved that person, just say I don't know if i love you anymore, and then expect everything to be OK, and it not to be that big of a deal? Words like that shatter people, to their very core. I think that these days we don't really think about what we say, or at least not in a manner that folks used to think. Back then though, people meant what they said and did what they said. What happens when one person tries and tries so long to fix things, but the other doesn't? why doesn't that other person try? and if that other person didn't care, why are they still there? its a form of cruelty if you ask me, to torment the other person, without giving them any form of effort to fix things.. an act of torture. isn't it funny how some folks then will try, only after the other gives up, to put forth effort to try to save the relationship? I've seen it time and time again, friends, family, you name it. Same things happen. One person is trying in the relationship, and the other doesn't seem to care enough to do jack shit, at least not relationship wise. Sure they'll do the normal expectations, but to really try to be in the relationship as a partner not as a body that is there. OH and don't get me even started on those people that just keep it all inside, and expect one party to do all the work, while never talking about or making effort to fix things. Those are the worst to me because theres no way to know if your in torment, or actually being loved and that the other party is trying or not. Bottom line, if you love someone, SHOW IT. MAKE THE GOD DAMNED EFFORT. IF it means being on medications to be normal FUCKING DO IT. If it means working 2 jobs to support your family, GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO IT. If it means talking to someone, and loving on someone simply by sitting on the couch against them loving on them by just simply holding hands, whatever. FUCKING DO IT. Cause if you don't, your gonna loose it all, if you already haven't. Its not fucking rocket science. And god help us the last part is if you don't wanna be in a relationship, and you know this, quit the bullshit, quit the excuses, financial or otherwise, and GET THE FUCK OUT. Your only making your life worse, their life worse, and in the long run a more difficult situation for all parties involved. If your worried theres not anyone else out there that will love you your wrong, but if your worried theres not anyone else out there who would put up with your bullshit you may be right lol. There's the edge, Jump.
Another relationship i see is family and age. Some things cant be changed, and aging is one of them. The sad part of it all is that you cant stop it. As we reach the winter of our lives its a sad fact that our bodies fall apart. Be it from poor care, or genetics, or just roll of the dice, they do. I see this alotalot of other mental ailments, that Ive talked about before. Its sad to me to see how my grandfather has to deal with all the bureaucratic b.s. that goes along with it, and my grandmother doesn't have a clue whats going on or why shes had to move from one to another to another home, because of how she fights and is in the homes. i promise you that if i ever get that bad, where i cant know who my family is or what I'm doing to hurt them, and don't know where i am or year, just please put me in a pasture and take me out of my misery. There is no quality of life if i cant enjoy those that i love, no matter how small a list that has grown to be, if i cant talk to you and enjoy you and vice versa, whats the point. I cant survive on my own at that point I'm more a burden than not, and no one needs that.
What is strange to me is how much we take for granted in life. me for example, i work a normal state job. I don't make what others in my field make, hell i took a 35% pay cut to come here when i left UPS. And yet, i still pay my bills, i still have nice things, and i still am fed, clothed, and have some spending money. I am somewhat healthy, I have 2 dogs i keep, a cat, a pool a jacuzzi on the back deck, i own my home, i own cars, i have alot of crap materially. I provide a decent quality of life for myself and my wife. I don't drink excessively habitually, in fact I've been considering giving it up entirely. I don't do drugs, i don't smoke, I don't gamble. I don't have any addictions that i really know of other than i love food maybe. I don't just sit on my ass when I'm home, i do all sorts of things, yard work, housework, home renovation and repair, including upgrades, I like to read books that i buy instead of borrow from the library, I'm good with computers and my hands. I can and do hold down jobs for long periods of time, and usually wont leave a place of employment unless I'm forced to by either lay off or possible lay off. I'm loyal to my friends and family. I have been told I'm too nice, and that I'm took advantage of by friends and family because I'm overly nice. Look at all i have to be thankful for there, yet most of the time i don't think about it. Hell i bet many folks don't look at me as hes a great guy they probably look at me and think what can i get him to do for me, or something along those lines.I submit this thought, what if, say life was like face book, and you could simply just drop someone from your friends list by a few clicks. What if i took the above description of myself, by me, and applied ti to my friends. And those that were not matching its categories or like type, what if i just got rid of them from my life? I apparently am an OK guy, and I'm sure there are alot of people who are in my life i could replace with little effort using these criterion. While i know not everyone is like minded, i bet you there are plenty of folks out there who would cherish me as me, and want to be part of my life, as i would theirs. Just a thought, kinda out of randomness, but hey since I'm blogging i may as well be random.
In closing, I don't know where i really was going with all of this, I just started typing really and this is what poured out. I hope that some of it made some of you think. I Hope that you all realize life is too short to be unhappy, and find happiness when you can. I hope that you will also make the effort. Its not always 50/50 in any relationship, some days its 99/1 or 60/40 or something, but you gotta try if you value it. The only time I can say don't, is when you had for so long, and now you have nothing more to give. If that's the case, pack your shit and go, cause you did what you could. no need to torment yourself or the others any longer.
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